2 Months

One of the most common pieces of advice I have been given is to "Enjoy every moment because time flies and they grow up so quickly!" As the girls start to develop and we accomplish mini milestones we can already tell what all these parents are talking about! Our girls are still so little but my goodness- they are growing so quickly!

I like the idea of keeping track of the girls' milestones and general schedules on this blog so we can show them later what life was like for our little family, when they were little. Plus, its a great way for US to remember as I think most of this will just be a general haze in as little as a year.

Days tend to fly by these days in the blink of an eye. Lack of sleep, lack of real schedules, lack of real showers and LOTS of pumping/nursing get in the way of any day feeling very structured.  I find myself wanting to do things like "tummy time" and/or read to the girls one of the many books we were gifted, but instead with any free time I have, I'm making lists of things I can't forget to do, stuffing a somewhat healthy snack down my throat, picking up the house, cleaning bottles or catching a nap.

Guilt
Something I wasn't fully prepared for in motherhood was the guilt I would feel for an array of things: lack of breast milk supply no matter what supplements I take, how much I pump/nurse or how much water I consume; asking our parents for help and then subsequently asking our parents to leave when the house is feeling crowded; the idea that I'm spending more time with one baby then another; lack of developmental activities throughout the day, etc.

Play mat time

While I am aware that our journey to parenthood is different than most and we felt prepared to experience an array of emotions, guilt wasn't one that we were expecting.  Ultimately, this guilt comes from wanting to be the best parents we can be to Lyla & Nixon and after talking to many friends about this, it seems to be a normal feeling for most new "Mamas".  For me, I remind myself every time I start to feel guilty of my journey and my thanks for the two beautiful, healthy babies I have in front of me. Before I know it, the guilt/sadness has melted away & my focus is back on the beauty of the situation.

Breastfeeding/Pumping
I am still actively nursing and pumping for the girls, but starting to realize that my supply will never grow to the point where I can supply enough for both babies full feedings. Trae and I have been using donor milk from the Austin Milk Bank, but the $4.50/oz cost has us unable to maintain that nutrition for the girls.  I have worked with the best Lactation Consultant in Austin & a doula to help with my schedule, nutrition, supplements and the girls latch to ensure I'm doing everything in my power to increase and maintain my supply. I had the difficult conversation with both this month that I would need to look into alternate forms of nutrition, whether that be donor milk from an actual donor or formula. It broke my heart to hear that I needed to move on from the thought process that I couldn't provide enough milk for the girls. I have been working SO hard since the actual moment they were born and immediately latched on (with the help of the nurses) to ensure breast feeding success, but according to the LC,  many twin moms just can never supply enough for 2 babies. The fact is, I'm making enough milk for one baby... just not 2.

I'm grateful I'm able to make any milk at all, I just never prepared myself for the idea that my body wouldn't be able to produce enough milk for both babies. I have ALWAYS looked forward to breast feeding my babies and it made me feel guilty, insufficient and unworthy as a Mother that I couldn't supply the girls with the only thing they needed to survive.  In a sleep deprived-marathon-pumping-haze I remember asking Trae "What would I do if we were in a horse & buggy in the 1700's & breast milk was the only form of food for the girls?!" He looked at me like I was crazy and just reassured me I was doing a good job and to continue doing what I could do. It took me about a week to really grasp this information. In that week I cried a lot, looked into ways to boost my supply, marathon nursed and pumped, chugged water and in the end, my supply increased so minimally.. it was obvious the LC and doula were right. I began to introduce formula as a secondary nutrition and continue to do so whenever I don't have enough milk to feed both babies. The girls get about 2 bottles/day of formula.

Spit UP
It's official: the girls spit up almost every time they eat. I wan't sure if they were spitting up for sure until we started increasing the amount of food they were eating at a single time (going from 2-3 and now 3-4 oz)but OH YES... we are spitting up.. almost every time we eat. Poor babies. They usually don't care they are spitting up, but occasionally Lyla will cry a lot after she spits up.  Also she has started arching her back and her voice sounds raspy at times.. all signs of GERD. Our Pediatrician is telling us just to keep an eye on it and to keep her sleeping elevated, so for now.. no medication, just being proactive rather than reactive to try to alleviate the symptoms. Until then, we are going through a lot of bibs & burp clothes!

Exercise
I was cleared at my 8 week check up to start exercising as normal, so in the coming weeks/months I hope to start adding more to my repertoire, but for now we are taking family walks around the neighborhood as often as we can. We enjoy getting out together.

Our 1st family walk with the girls

My 1st attend at baby wearing. Lyla loved it!

The Ehlerts came to visit

Leisha was a pro giving tandem cuddles. 

The Tenerys came & brought dinner and held the babies while we ate. The second time for Katie to see the girls!

Nana Sharon & Nana Mary both continue to help SO much, we're so thankful!

Pastor Carolyn came to bless the girls and check on us, as well as feed our hungry, tired tummies! We are so blessed by our church & Pastors. Their love makes us feel closer to our boys since they are close to them every day.

Nixon immediately fell asleep on Pastor Carolyn. 

Parker came for a visit to drop off yummy food Heidi had cooked!

Uncle Paul & Aunt Mandy stopped by several times to see the girls & offer a helping hand. Uncle Paul got pooped on by Lyla - he MUST be her favorite! ;-)

We took the girls to the chapel to 'meet' their brothers & pray  with them. An emotional visit, but a special one of many.

Pre bath snuggles

Addie & Jack meeting their cousins for the 1st time. They were amazed by how small they are!

Our sleepy girl giving us the stink eye. 

Ashley came for a visit to give me a needed nap - thank you Ashley!!!

Colbie loves the babies

Lyla gave us her 1st smiles!! 

What a beautiful smile!!!!

The girls napping together in the pack n play

Parents of twins are ALWAYS multi tasking! HA HA HA

George loves his babies so much- he hates to hear them fuss and cry!

I have to catch my zz's anytime I can grab them!

My 1st time baby wearing in public. Lyla wanting to be held while we were eating lunch at Austin Terrier.

One of Nixon's many funny faces.

Bath time! They really do love it, despite the funny faces.

A fairly typical day for us:

12:30/1:00 AM Feeding. I usually nurse one baby and Trae bottle feeds the other. We burp them, change their diapers, swaddle them and put them in their Rock n Plays, which are still located in our room.  We turn on the "ocean waves" sleep sound and all go to sleep.

3:30/4AM Nixon normally wakes up ready to be fed. I take her into the kitchen and start warming up a bottle of breast milk. While doing this I typically change her diaper & try to soothe her by giving her a pacifier.  She eats 4 oz and goes back down quickly. I then wake up Lyla and change, feed, swaddle her before putting her back down.  The whole process takes about an 1 hr 15 mins. I'm completely exhausted & climb into bed, anxious about when the girls will wake up next.

6:30/7AM is our next feeding and it's the same process as above, except I normally change them out of their nightgowns into footed pj's for the day.  Trae leaves for work and the girls and I get settled in, in the living room to spend our day.

8:30 I usually try to either do tummy time or some playmate time, but this normally only is about 10 minutes before the girls start getting mad. It normally results in both babies crying, Lyla in the bouncy seat and Nixon being held or vice versa. If I can put both girls in a seat, then I can usually go wash bottles for a few minutes, or eat a banana (my breakfast almost every morning).

10:30/11 Both girls are ready to eat/get changed again.  They typically fall asleep right after, which gives me a few minutes to eat something else, make the bed, tidy up and drink some tea or coffee.

12:30 Trae normally comes home for lunch about 3 days a week and gives me a couple minutes to grab a quick shower/go potty/ take a breather away from the girls before he runs back to work. His lunches home are only about 30 mins so its a quick, but much needed visit!

1:30 Both girls are ready to eat/get changed again. One will usually take a quick nap and one usually stays up to play/look around. We will do different activities like walk outside and look at plants, visit their nursery which is getting very little attention these days, practice tummy time on our bed or I will just sing to them. Its fun to get a little more one-on-one time with the girls.

4:00 Both girls are ready to eat/get changed. I try to plan this properly so that Trae comes home to happy girls, but it doesn't always happen that way. More times than not, Trae is walking in the door to  2 crying babies and an exhausted Mama, but many days it's peaceful and I look like SuperMom. Well, Supermom with no makeup on, no dinner offered, a messy house and messy spit up clothes, but quiet babies, so SuperMom none the less.

5:30/6 Trae snuggles with the girls while I prepare/heat up/figure out dinner.

7:30/8 We give the girls a bath, feed the girls a bottle (4oz), change them into their nightgowns, swaddle and begin the bedtime process.  It's often 10:00 before the girls are down for good, at which point we try to discuss Trae's workday, my day with the girls/watch a TV program and relax for a few moments without babies.

Our 7 week check up on Ash Wednesday with Dr Terwelp

Our Friend Brooke Stacey came by for a visit!

Nap time turns into play time more often than not.

8 week Post Partum check up with Dr Reue

Papa snuggles 

March of Dimes Walk- Team Sawyer & Tristan

This Saturday, May 10th is the 2nd Annual Team Sawyer & Tristan March for Babies Walk!

We are excited to spend this day with our family & friends, remembering our sweet boys who changed our lives forever and made their sisters lives possible.

To those who can join us, we will have our own team tent located at the park. Ask any of the March of Dimes staff where to find us, if you can't find us easily. They will have a map of where all the team tents are.

We will be setting up bright and early at 8:30 with mimosas available to whoever wants to participate!

The walk starts at 9:30 and is a 5k trail course at the park.

We will have a light lunch & dessert for everyone to enjoy at our tent after the walk, please stick around!

If you have little ones, please bring them- there will be cotton candy, firetrucks, kids games- etc. !

Here is a link to our team page on the March of Dimes website:

http://www.marchforbabies.org/s_team_page.asp?SeId=2034020&si=

Walk Location: Old Settlers Park, Round Rock, TX

DIRECTIONS AND PARKING

Old Settler's Park is located at 3300 Palm Valley Blvd. There are 2 entrances into the park. One off of Hwy 79/ Palm Valley Blvd and one off 3406/Old Settler's Blvd

From Hwy 79/Palm Valley Blvd: Take IH-35 to Round Rock. Exit 79/Palm Valley Blvd. Go East on 79. Take a left on Harrell Pkwy. The event location will approximately 1 mile into the park at the Lakeview Pavilion. Signage will direct you.

From 3406/Old Settler's Blvd: Take IH-35 to Round Rock. Exit 3406/Old Settler's Blvd. Go East on 3406/Old Settler's Blvd. Take a right on Harrell Pkwy. The event location will approximately 1 mile into the park at the Lakeview Pavilion. Signage will direct you.

1 Month

I was asked by the owners of www.twintalkblog.com to write a blog post about our experiences so far as parents of 1 month olds!  I was so grateful for the opportunity to feature our experience with others since I never dreamed I would have the opportunity to be a twin mom again and now that I am... I want to share my experience with everyone!  (Maybe it will explain why I'm so MIA, forgetful and late arriving places to all my friends! :-)  )

Also, I want the girls to be able to look back at this blog as a journal of Mom & Dad's journey into parenthood- I can only imagine how many laughs they will get reading our stories of working so hard to be good parents! Hopefully they will feel even more loved than they already are!

1 MONTH:

My husband, Trae and I knew we wanted to start a family quickly after getting married.  Getting pregnant didn’t come easy for us: I had PCOS, Endometriosis, Diminished Ovarian Reserve and needed to have surgery & take medication, just to ovulate.   After 5 failed IUI’s we chose to go through IVF and got pregnant with our only 2 viable embryos: twin boys!

Sadly, on February 1, 2013 at 23 weeks 0 days gestation our world came crashing down when I went into the doctor with gas-like pains only to realize I was in preterm labor and dilated.  I delivered my 1 lb. 6 oz/each twin boys; Sawyer Jameson & Tristan Milton 2 hours later.  The boys passed away 6 days later.

Despite being completely heartbroken, our desire to want to be parents to living children never waivered.  Being Sawyer & Tristan’s parents made us want children even more! In April I flew to Chicago and had a TransAbdominal Cerclage placed to fix my incompetent cervix, allowing me to safely carry a baby again and in July after another round of IVF, we were pregnant again.. with TWIN GIRLS this time!   We couldn’t believe our luck and were so excited…. And very scared at the same time.  After a very careful and closely monitored pregnancy, I delivered my twins, Lyla Tristan & Nixon Sawyer on February 27, 2014 at their scheduled C-Section date at 37 weeks, 2 days gestation.

As prepared as Trae and I thought we were for twin parenting, we have learned there is no way to fully prepare yourself for the: lack of sleep, expertise in multi-tasking needed to get through a day, challenges of breastfeeding and of course above it all- the abundance of love you feel for your new little ones.  

While there is certainly no “typical” day in your first month with twins (well with my twins there wasn’t), there are consistencies that you can count on: lots of diapers, probably some spit up, lots of breast milk and very little sleep for you. 

Here’s an example of what an average day looked like in my house:

Each new day starts with the first feeding in my house, around 1 AM.  I’ve always had a desire to breastfeed but have learned I don’t produce enough breast milk to satisfy both girls demanding feeding schedules, so I am on a nurse/pump/supplement with donor breast milk schedule.  I get donor breast milk from the local Breast Milk bank in town where they pasteurize their donor milk & pack it in 3 oz bottles for $4.50/oz.  I have also gotten donor milk using an online group called Human Milk 4 Human Babies (HM4HB) where Mom’s that have an oversupply go and post availability for mom’s like me, who have a need- a great service that’s available locally via Facebook groups.

1:05AM: Lyla wakes up crying in her Rock-n-Play, located in our bedroom.

I change her diaper, reswaddle her & begin to breastfeed her.

1:11 AM: Nixon wake up crying in her Rock-n-Play, also in our bedroom. Because Trae has to work in the morning, I put Lyla down in her Rock-n-Play while I change & reswaddle Nixon. 

1:13 AM: Both girls are crying, hungry and Trae has woken up.  I go into the kitchen, grab 2 bottles of breast milk from the refrigerator and begin to heat them up for the girls to eat.

1:20: Trae feeds Lyla a bottle while laying in bed while I breastfeed Nixon for 10 minutes, then feed her a bottle.

1:58: Nixon goes to sleep in her Rock-n-play

2:33: Lyla goes to sleep in her Rock-n-play

2:35 I make notes of girls feedings, diapers & sleep in my Total Baby App & go to sleep.  ( Before using Total Baby App, I made a spreadsheet to keep track of feedings, diapers, sleep and filled it in using a pencil.. but I would always lose my pencil!)

4:32 Nixon wakes up crying for her 2^nd meal/diaper change. She is fed a bottle of breast milk.

4:51 Nixon starts spitting up everywhere & crying loudly. I begin changing her out of wet swaddle & nightgown and Lyla wakes up.

5:01 AM: Trae feeds Lyla a bottle while I finish feeding/burping Nixon.

5:22: Nixon goes to sleep, I finish feeding Lyla a bottle.

6:04: Lyla goes down to sleep

6:11 I sit in my recliner in living room and pump while eating a banana. Breastfeeding makes me as hungry as I was while pregnant! I pump 5 oz, wash dirty bottles from our previous feedings, make bottles for next 3 feedings.

6:39 I go to sleep again

7:45 Trae leaves for work

8:17: Nixon wakes up for 3^rd feed/diaper change. I change her and take her to living room to breast feed while watching The Today Show. 

8:40 Nixon falls asleep while breast feeding- I swaddle her loosely with blanket and put her on her Boppy Lounger to rest next to me on couch.

9:05: Lyla wakes up for her 3^rd feed/diaper change. I breast feed her on couch in living room.

9:50: Lyla is put down asleep on her Boppy Lounger.

10:15: I pump for 2^nd time using hands free bra & eat breakfast.  In an effort to increase my supply I make an effort to drink enough water, take fenugreek consistently and eat small frequent meals.

10:51: I straighten up the house, make bed, take quick shower & start load of laundry.

11:30: I sit in recliner and close my eyes hoping to get a couple hours of rest.

12:10: Lyla wakes up for 4^th feeding/change. I feel exhausted. I change her diaper & put her in her day clothes & begin tummy time.  She gets frustrated quickly with tummy time, but likes play time on her back after a couple minutes of hard work on her tummy.

12:30: Lyla eats her 4^th bottle of breastmilk (4 oz)

12:45: Daddy is home for lunch!

1:00 Nixon wakes up. Trae changes her diaper & clothes while I warm up her bottle.

1:10 Nixon eats her 4^th bottle of breastmilk (4 oz)

1:25: Lyla goes down on her boppy lounger to sleep

1:30 Trae goes back to work (Shoot- I didn’t go to the bathroom when he was here!)

1:55 Nixon falls asleep & is put down on her boppy lounger.

2:10 I make myself an easy lunch: banana w/ peanut butter, leftover chicken & rice and eat quickly- maybe I can take a nap?! I should pump but I’m SO TIRED!!!!

2:30 I fall asleep in my recliner with girls next to me asleep on couch.

4:40 Lyla wakes up.  I pick her up- she is all wet- her diaper has leaked.  I change her diaper & clothes.

4:50 Lyla has “play time” with Mommy (we play patty cakes, and I sing songs to her like “Heads, shoulders, knees & toes” while touching her body parts. She loves music & Mommy touching her!

5:00 Nixon wakes up. I put Lyla down in her bouncy-chair while I change Nixon.

5:10 Lyla & Nixon play on playmat together.

5:15 Lyla starts crying to be fed. I leave her playing while I warm up 2 bottles

5:25 Lyla is fed her 5^th bottle (4 oz) while Nixon listens to music in her bouncy chair

5:40 Daddy is home for day!!

6:00 Trae feeds Nixon 5^th bottle (4 oz)

6:15 Lyla is falling asleep- I put her in her bouncy/vibrating chair to rest.

6:30 I pump in my recliner while talking to Trae about his day.

6:40 Nixon is put down to rest in vibrating chair.

7:00 We have guest bring us dinner from our care calendar

8:15 Guest Leaves & We eat dinner.  We bring girls into kitchen in their vibrating seats next to kitchen table.

8:30 Lyla is fussy & wants to be held. I hold her while we finish eating.

8:35 Lyla spits up all over herself & me. I decide its bath time for girls.

8:45 Lyla is given bath & re dressed in night gown

9:00 Nixon is given bath & re dressed in night gown

9:10 I heat up 2 bottles

9:25 Lyla & Nixon are swaddled and given a 4 oz bottle of breastmilk by Trae and myself.

10:15 Girls are swaddled and sleeping on their boppy loungers on the couch. Trae and I watch TV together while checking email on laptops.

11:30 I wash bottles, straighten kitchen & make bottles for nighttime feedings.

11:45 Both Lyla & Nixon wake up crying when we try to move them to their Rock-n-Plays. I tandem nurse girls while sitting in bed. Girls fall asleep quickly.

11:55 Girls are put down in their Rock-n-Plays to sleep.   We get ready & go to bed quickly- we have to get to sleep- the girls will be up again soon!

As I look at our day in hindsight, I see many places where I could have made improvements. Maybe I could have gotten an extra few minutes of sleep here, done additional tummy time, or pumped more… but I can confidently say we’re doing what any new parent does… the best we can!  

Some words of wisdom to twin parents-to-be would be:

Sleep while you can!!       

How annoying is this saying? When you’re pregnant you can’t sleep because you’re uncomfortable and then you can’t because you’re taking care of your babies when they’re here!  But it’s true now as it was true then… we try to sleep when we can, rather than get too caught up with other “to-do’s”.

Breastfeeding is hard- pump as often as possible.

 I have met VERY FEW women who produce enough milk for 2 babies from the beginning.  For most of us, it takes hard work to increase our milk supply to its highest potential. Work with a lactation consultant from the beginning and pump every 2 hours, if you can!  Also, Fenugreek is a must.

Have someone make you a care calendar.. but with rules.
 Having a friend make you a care calendar is so helpful. You wont have time to make meals or even think about meals- in fact, most things we eat are either sandwiches, snack items like granola bars and meals prepared for us by others. 

When setting up the care calendar- MAKE RULES

Rules should include what items you like friends to bring/not bring (we opted for writing nothing too spicy since I’m breast feeding)  and also write what hours you are allowing guests. You WILL have guests forget these rules from time to time and stay too long and it TOTALLY throws your schedule off.. so it’s nice to write the rules up front and help most your guests know from the get go that you can’t visit for more than an hour.

Try to get out the house: Trae and I have taken turns getting out of the house without the girls for small errands, which we believe is helpful in saving your sanity. While you’ll have to take the girls out for Dr appts and other reasons in first month- don’t try to do too much with them if you don’t have to- it’s not worth the anxiety!

Say “yes” to help: Like many others, I’m a women that likes to attack challenges myself and find it hard to accept help from others. I’ve given this up.  While our Mom’s don’t live in Austin with us, they made separate trips to help us here and there. The help was SO needed and SO appreciated. Just having an extra set of hands allows you to keep to a pumping schedule or maybe get an extra few minutes of sleep- so necessary if possible!  I’ve also had a friend come over for an hour and help with the girls while I catch a cat nap or run an errand.  Just say “yes” when someone offers the help!!

Try to stick to a schedules
While the only real “schedule” you’re sticking to is Eat, Sleep, Diapers… an actual schedule is necessary for us to understand when they ate last and when they will again so you can plan how much time you have to sleep/shower/clean while they sleep.  Also, our pediatrician would ask us questions like “how much are they eating a day” or “how many diapers did Lyla have”.. I would have had NO idea, unless I kept a schedule.  It holds you accountable and makes you feel like you have some control over a hectic day.

Take Pictures : While the only real “schedule” you’re sticking to is Eat, Sleep, Diapers… an actual schedule is necessary for us to understand when they ate last and when they will again so you can plan how much time you have to sleep/shower/clean while they sleep.  Also, our pediatrician would ask us questions like “how much are they eating a day” or “how many diapers did Lyla have”.. I would have had NO idea, unless I kept a schedule.  It holds you accountable and makes you feel like you have some control over a hectic day.
Our babies change EVERY day! While its exciting to see their cheeks plump up and their eyes to open more often, it’s a little sad to see how quickly it all happens!! Take lots of pictures- worry about printing them/editing them later- just take the picture!!

We are loving every minute of this twin parenting ride. Our girls have brought out joys in our heart that we didn’t know were there and we can’t wait to experience all the joys and challenges that continue to come with twin parenting.  As hard as it is sometimes, all I have to do is look down in my daughters eyes, smell their sweet baby smell and thank God for allowing us to experience this again.

Welcoming our Twin Daughters: A Birth Story

February 27, 2014

The days leading up to our scheduled C-Section on February 27th, 2014 were full of emotions for our little family.  We spent our time finishing last minute details around the house, giving our dogs Colbie & George a little extra love, and despite everyones advice to "rest while you can!" my pregnancy insomnia & general discomfort resulted in sleepless nights in my recliner where binge watching episodes of Scandal kept my anxiety at bay.

I know I've said it before, but we really couldn't believe that we had made it to a scheduled C-Section. For MONTHS we waited for the doctors to give us bad news, but it never came.  Our hard work had paid off.. we were having our daughters on the scheduled date we picked 3 months ago, NEVER thinking we would actually make it to the date we picked.

February 26th felt a little bit like the day of our rehearsal dinner.  We were anxious, excited and in total disbelief the whole day. Trae was working, but getting off work early and came home with a lovely gift given to us from his whole office, celebrating the girl's birthday. Our parents drove into Austin & we all had an early, casual dinner together at our house: Lupe Tortilla Fajitas- our family favorite.  I spent the day relaxing in comfy clothes & watching my favorite TV show, Scandal to keep my mind at bay.

Everything had been done: our bags were packed & ready, camera batteries were charged, we went over the next days timeline with our family and all we had to do was relax, "get some rest" (yea, RIGHT!) , not drink or eat anything after midnight (for me)  and report to Seton hospital at 5:30 AM.

We took some last obligatory belly photos posed in front of our weekly chalkboard, celebrating our final pregnancy accomplishment- FULL TERM.  Trae and I got ready for bed, cried tears of joy as we prayed for the events that were ahead of us and thanked Sawyer & Tristan & God for helping us get to this day before Trae went to sleep in our bed and I went to relax in our recliner.  A short 4 hours later (and 3 Scandal episodes later) I took my last pregnant shower, Trae loaded our bags and we left in the cold dark morning to go to the hospital to have our babies!

Car packed with everything we need.. or think we might need! 

Typical new parents.. we didn't need half this! 

Walking inside Seton, carrying all his girl's bags!

It was a cold February morning as we arrived to welcome our daughters!

We arrived at Seton promptly at our 5:30 AM check in time.  What an AMAZING feeling it was, walking in, hand-in-hand EXCITED to be at the hospital! Everything was perfect: We were showered- even my hair was clean & curled, our doctor would be there to deliver our babies and our good friend Katie was scheduled to be our nurse anesthetist for our surgery- what could be better?!

Getting ready to meet our little girls!

We met our nurses and I was hooked up to the monitors within 15 minutes of arriving.  Each girl had a nurse and I had a separate nurse that would take care of me pre and post surgery.  As I sat in my hospital bed feeling the girls kick in my belly for the last times, I started getting nervous for the operation ahead. We met with the anesthesiologist, pediatrician, OB, surgery nurses and next thing we knew- Trae was putting on his scrubs and we were being wheeled back into surgery.

Trae ready for the Operating Room!

Trae was told to wait outside the operating room while I was administered anesthesia. I was walked into the large, cold, bright Operating Room where I saw 8 nurses, 2 infant beds, 3 Doctors, a surgical table and many silver surgical tools neatly laid out. I immediately started shaking- I was nervous!!  My nurse and Katie knew our history and had done a great job of filling in the staff with our story, so that everyone was aware to be vigilant in giving us every piece of information regarding what was happening during surgery and when the babies got here.  See, Trae and I understood that while this day was perfect in so many ways, it would likely bring up PTSD moments from Sawyer & Tristans delivery, and one way we could try to alleviate this was to be as comfortable in the situation as possible, which for us means giving us TOO much information, rather than having us ask if everything was ok.  The Doctors, nurses, everyone knew this and completely participated in our wishes- we never had to ask what something was, when something was happening, what options we had, nothing- it was all offered to us as information in advance- something we were so happy with.

We are nervous, but ready to meet our daughters!

Holding hands & praying while in surgery.

Wiping away tears as I heard Lyla for the first time

Anesthesia took no time and before I knew it, Trae was by my side, holding my hand that was stretched out and looking at me with his smiling eyes, assuring me that all was going to be ok. Some rough tugging, pulling, poking and prodding is all I felt, Thank God.. it definitely didn't feel like I was about to deliver my twin girls.  At 8:00 on the dot Dr Reue said "OK.. here she is.. Happy Birthday, Lyla... whoa.. she is LONG!!"  It felt like forever until she cried, but Katie continually reassured us (without us having to ask) that she was ok and they were just suctioning her out. Trae took pictures continually of her as she let out her first big cry.  I had dreamed about that exact moment of hearing my healthy baby cry and it was better than I could have ever imagined! Trae and I squeezed each others hand and tears rolled down our cheeks as we listened to Lyla's sweet cry.  She was dried off and brought over to us to meet her until we heard "Here is Baby B- Baby Nixon! Happy Birthday, Nixon- 8:01 AM!"

As soon as Dr Reue announced her arrival, the room was filled with Nixon's HUGE cries. We were all shocked to hear how little she was, when her cry easily drowned out her sisters!

Trae holding Lyla's hand as she is checked over

Looking at Lyla for the first time

Papa & Lyla

Papa & Nixon

Meeting Nixon for the first time & having skin to skin time

Both girls were weighed, given their perfect APGAR scores, quickly wiped & wrapped by the nurses and given quickly to Trae and me to love on & for me to begin to breastfeeding them.  Once swaddled, the girls stopped crying and were looking around the room and at us, as if they were taking it all in.  It was an amazing feeling to finally be holding our healthy daughters!  Once we were able to hold them together as a family, Trae and I thanked God again for our daughters and sons, prayed for our journey and began telling Lyla and Nixon about their big brothers.

Our First Family Photo

Lyla & Nixon bundled up together

Nixon Sawyer Schultz

Proud Papa holding his girls together for the first time

Trae & Dr Reue posing with the girls

After Nixon was born, it took about 30 minutes for Dr Reue & his staff to finish my surgery and close me up.  Prior to closing, Dr Reue explained that one of the two cerclage bands placed around my cervix (my TAC) had eroded through my uterus due to how large it had gotten during pregnancy due to my full term pregnancy, so he had to remove it.  I was so thankful that my surgeon had placed TWO mersiline cerclage bands in case we had twins again (which we did!) because without the second band doing its job, there is a good chance we wouldn't have made it as far into the pregnancy as we did.  I was and am so thankful for my cerclage(s).. they saved my daughters lives.

We were wheeled back into our hospital room where our family joined us quickly to meet the girls and learn their names for the first time before we had a few hours alone, just the 4 of us to recover from surgery and relax as a family.

Our Family coming in to meet the girls & learn their names for the first time

Mama holding Nixon for the first time

Loving on my babies shortly after they were born

Blissfully in love

We were transferred to our post partum room and asked how we wanted the them to assess the girls, in our room or in the nursery.  While we had been given sound advice from friends & family to allow the girls to go to the nursery at night so we could get sleep, we told the nursing staff that we didn't want the girls to leave our side unless completely necessary.  Call it PTSD, but we worked so hard to have our little girls by our side that we didn't want them to go ANYwhere without us, unless it was needed.  Aside from 2 assessments that had to be done in the nursery, our girls didn't leave our sides for the next 4 days we were in the hospital and we loved every minute of it!

Standing outside our hospital room door

Lyla Tristan

Nixon Sawyer

Nana & Papi holding the girls

Nana & Pop-Pop

After 4 days in the hospital, both girls passed their hearing tests, Nixon's bilirubin was elevated enough to graduate from the light therapy she had been on for 2 days and Nixon passed her car seat test allowing us all to leave to go home together.  We dressed the girls in their special onesies we had made with their full names on them and pictures of both pink and blue birds that reminded us of their brothers always looking over their sisters as they carried their brothers' name as their middle name forever.

We felt so blessed and happy to leave with our girls on that cold day in March. It felt surreal to put them in our carseats that we had unpacked 2 months prior, then put them in our car we bought just for our growing family.. and finally to pull away from the hospital that brought us our 3rd and 4th children, only to head home to start our life.

About to head home with our beauties!

Home with our girls!

My Mom got us big storks with the girls birth details on them for our yard, to welcome us home. It was so fun to pull in our driveway with our sweet girls to see them there, Congratulating our arrival.  We would see people walking by and staring at them throughout the week and we felt so special and blessed!!

Colbie & George love their little sisters. We gently introduced them to them and any worries we had in the back of our mind drifted away very quickly as both dogs smelled the girls, sat by their side and gently kissed their heads.  To this day, the dogs want to be by their side all the time, but they are VERY gently with them.  It's a lovely thing to watch our sweet dogs love our little girls.

In a short month, we have learned SO much about parenting and we're continuing to learn a lot every day. Our little girls are great teachers to their naive parents!

Despite our lack of general parental information and learn-as-we-go mentality,  I can confidently say that while we have no idea what we're doing sometimes, we NEVER forget how lucky we are to have Lyla & Nixon home with us, happy, healthy and HUNGRY!! :-)

February 27th, 2014

February 27, 2014

Happy Birthday to our daughters:

Lyla Tristan Schultz
6LB 13 oz 18" Long
8:00 AM

&

Nixon Sawyer Schultz
4LB 11 oz  17" Long
8:01 AM

We love you more than you will ever know!

"A rainbow baby is a baby who is born after a parent loses a child.  It is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm.  When a rainbow appears, it does not mean the storm never happened or that we are not still dealing with the aftermath.  It means that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover, but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope."