Week 23 began on February 1, 2013:
I woke up early, feeling rested and ready to tackle my full "to-do" list. Anyone who knows me well, knows I am a major planner. I like to be organized and have plans made ahead of time, to avoid any confusion. In the weeks leading up to this time, I made numerous Excel spreadsheets detailing everything from "what to bring to hospital" (including items seperated by bag for me, Trae and boys), "projects to complete before 30 weeks" to "gift bags to give to guests and nurses at hospital". The nursery was 70% complete- only lacking a few decorative items, the dresser we planned to pick up that Friday, and to organize the newly installed ELFA closet full of new clothes given by family and good friends. It might seem silly that I was so obsessed with getting things finished so quickly and efficiently, but becoming a mother was my only job and I was taking it seriously!
The night before, I had gone to sleep early with a dull back pain. The pain wasn't anything I was overly concerned with because I had experienced lower back pain for much of my pregnancy since the boys were growing so quickly. I was seeing a chiropracter the week prior to alleviate some of the pain, so I thought maybe the pains I was experiencing was normal and I just needed rest. While picking out paint samples with our local Sherwin Williams manager, Sanders I started feeling a little sick and that lower back pain started kicking in again. Sanders, a father himself, saw that I was wanting to sit while picking out samples and asked how I was feeling. I responded with a "not super great.. but I think this is just what a twin pregnancy is!" I left with my paint samples and headed home to rest before having to go to a lunch meeting.
On the way home I called and left a message with my OB's nurse telling her what I was feeling. I told her it was probably nothing, but I needed her to call me back and tell me I was correct, in the meantime I would drink extra water. When I got home I felt better, just from drinking water, going to the bathroom and resting. I headed to my lunch meeting, feeling good, chatting with friends on the way over- never bothering to mention my symptoms. A few minutes into our lunch meeting, I started feeling icky again and having lower back pain. The back pain I was feeling felt similar to what menstral cramps feel like to me, a dull ache. (I never stopped to think that the menstral cramps I'm used to are generally worse than most due to my endometriosis, and I shouldnt have any pains during pregnancy like my menstral cramps.) I ate a small bit of food and decided it might be gas or just typical back pain. While in my meeting, I missed the return call from my nurse- She left me a message saying she thought it all sounded like typical pregnancy pains, that I should continue to drink water, stay off my feet and call her if things progress or get worse in any way.
When my lunch meeting was over, I headed to my next appointment, to get my hair done. My hairstylist has seen me throughout my ferility struggles and knows me well by this point. Immediately when I walked in she asked how I was doing and I responded telling her what I was feeling and what the nurse said. We discussed me going in to the dr and rescheduling my appointment but I wasn't in any additional pain- so I decided to start my hair and I would leave if I felt like I needed to. Throughout the appointment my hairstylist kept checking in with me "How are you feeling now? Is it any different" and my answers were always "no, I don't think so... I don't really know" while I continued to drink lots of water, hoping the water would magically stop the pains. I called the Nurse again and told her how I was feeling. She decided it was best for me to come into the office, but told me not to rush- that is was probably ok. In the 10 minutes I had to wait to let my hair finish, the pains started to get a little sharper and moved more into my abdomen. They felt very similar to gas pains mixed with menstral pains. They were coming and going, but similarly to gas pains. My hairstylist kept asking me to time them, but the pains were hard to track- they were so dull that they seemed consistent. Once I realized the pain was getting stronger, I was getting my hair washed and rushing out of the salon. Before leaving I went to the bathroom and saw a tiny bit of blood. I immediately knew something was terribly wrong and broke down in tears.
I quickly left the salon in South Austin and started the drive up north to our Dr's office located in our hospital. It was 4PM and I was fighting Mopac traffic so I called Trae at his office and tried to calmly tell him I was headed to the Dr's office. I started thinking of worst case scenarios and I was sure that this meant I was to be on bed rest for the next few weeks, maybe even needed a rescue cerclage. Trae and I met at the Dr's office and I was quickly ushered into a room where my nurse, Kathy did an ultrasound. She seemed relieved that my blood pressure and pulse were completely normal, the boy's heartbeats were normal and their fluid looked better than average. She measured my cervix and it measured at 2.15cm, 2 cm less than my appointment 2 weeks before. She called Dr S. in from the hospital to do a check. When Dr. S came in, he saw my cervix length and decided to do a vaginal swab to see if I was in preterm labor. Within seconds of me putting my legs in the stirrups on the exam table I saw Dr S's eyes look concered and his hands backed away. He said nothing and I immediately asked "what... what's wrong... what is it?!" He simply said "This isn't good, cyndi... This isn't what we wanted to see." I continued asking "what's wrong????!!!" Dr S. finally said "You're dilated to about 2 cm with bulging membranes, we need to move you upstairs." My heart sunk. Trae and I had no idea what this information meant, but we knew it wasn't good.
Kathy put me in a wheelchair, took Trae and I out a backdoor and up a side elevator to the next floor where I was greeted by 2 nurses who started telling me to put on a hospital gown. Kathy hugged me and told me she would be praying. I was so confused. After I had on my gown I asked the nurses "So.. am I staying here over night?" They responded telling me they didn't know how long I would be in the hospital, it could be a few nights or several weeks... whatever was safest for me and the babies. Trae and I couldn't understand. We were so confused with the small amount of information I had been given, it wasn't until I looked down at my hospital gown and saw it read "labor & delivery" that I knew I was in L&D. While we were concerned and confused, we both figured the hospital was the best place for us to be so I started putting together a list of items for trae to grab from our house and trae left to go board our dogs and grab our essentials while I was getting hooked up.
While Trae was gone, the nurses began the long process of checking me in, starting me on fluids, hooking the fetal monitors up and waiting on my dr's orders. My back pain was starting to get a little worse and I asked for pillows to prop my feet up. The nurse then told me it was my contractions strengthening and I needed to wait until my magnesium kicked in. That was the first time I realized I was having contractions. "What?! I'm having Contractions?" The nurse showed me the long paper showing my contraction peaks and valleys and I got a sinking feeling realizing that the back pain I had been having for the past several hours, could have been contractions the whole time. Since my stomach was so stretched with my growing boys, my contractions never contracted my belly making it more tight- a tell tale sign I was waiting to see, since that's what all my friends had experienced with their contractions. The magnesium had been in about 10 minutes and my back was still hurting, in addition to me starting to feel the side effects of the magnesium: hot flashes, flu like symptoms, sweating, nausea. I had been given a steroid shot in my arm for the boys lung development at the same time as my magnesium was started and was trying to think straight through all the pain and discomfort of labor as I started texting my family & close friends. I told my Mom & was in L&D but didn't know if she needed to come, same with my best friends. My good friend, Heather Greeson decided to come up anyway and was on her way.
The nurses were coming and going from the room a lot and I started feeling worse and worse. I kept asking where my doctors were and they responded that we were waiting on the MFM (Maternal Fetal Medicine), a high risk OB doctor in the hospital to finish her rounds so she could come check on me. She was scheduled to see me at 7. It was about 5:45 at this point and I clearly remember telling the nurse that I couldn't wait that long to see her and the nurse said she would relay the information, but the doctor was aware of my situation and would see me when she could. I asked the nurse if she needed to do a pelvic exam to see if things looked worse and she told me it was the MFM who would do the exam, not the nurses- they didn't want to disturb that area any more than it needed to be.
Trae got back and saw my pain had gotten worse- he looked so concered and kept trying to hold my hand. I was so sweaty, hot and uncomfortable I couldn't even hold his hand. I asked the nurse to help me turn over as I was trying to explain what Trae missed while he was gone. Once I was on my side I felt the boys shift positions slightly, something that usually helps alleviate my back pain.. this time it made it worse. Within mere minutes I started writhing in pain, screaming out that I needed medicine. The nurses weren't in the room at the time and poor Trae seemed so helpless and worried. The contractions that were dull before were now extremely painful and there was only about 30 seconds between each contraction. Each time one stopped I looked around the room and asked Trae where the nurses were and by that time I could feel the next contraction start. After about 6 hard contractions without nurses and me screaming in pain, I begged Trae to go find the first nurse he saw in the hallway and get her into my room. I knew things were bad - I have a very high threshold of pain, something that probably didn't help in our situation and I knew I couldnt withstand this pain for long. Trae ran out of the room and came back seconds later with a nurse I hadn't seen before. She had a very calm demeanor about her and calmy asked me how I felt as I was contracting and screaming out. I told her It hurt and when she asked for more information I told her I felt pressure. She said "ok, honey" and pulled my emergency cord out of the wall.
Immediately sirens were going off with blinking lights "Code Stork, Code Stork" repeating loudly over the intercom letting all doctors and nurses know that I was an emergency and we needed "all hands on deck". It was during this that my friend Heather walked into the room and sat down out of the way of the 20 or so nurses and doctors that surrounded my bedside. I begged for pain medication and Dr. S arrived telling me it was too late, that my babies were coming.
In the seconds before Sawyer was delivered, Dr B, the neonatologist gave us the grim statistics that a 23 week old baby has at survival and what challenges they would be facing when delivered. He was speaking clearly, but very quickly since I was in the process of delivering. The scene was so chaotic I understood what he was saying, but didn't understand WHY he was saying it. When he stopped talking I said "so? So what are you saying?!" Dr B said frankly "I need permission to resussitate your son's when they're born." I shouted "Yes! YES! End of story!!" While I knew he had to ask me this question, I couldn't believe what he was saying and asking.. and was mad that he didn't know me, Trae or how hard we had worked for our sweet little boys.
Sawyer was born in 3 pushes, still wrapped up in his caul, his water only breaking by Dr. S. He was delivered so quickly that Trae couldnt even see him after he was delivered- he was given from Dr. S to Dr B to be intebated and given medicine.
The MFM (that I had been waiting for) that showed up when the emergency cord was pulled was discussing the possibility of Tristan not delivering if his water didn't break. Dr S. introduced me to her and said 'The good news is we will know to put a cerclage in for your next pregnancy so this doesn't happen.' I looked at Trae and Heather to see their concerned faces and couldn't believe Dr. S was discussing subsequent pregnancies when my sons were fighting for thier lives. Tristan's water did break- he was born 7 minutes after Sawyer, in breech position.
While the Dr's and nurses were working on me post delivery I saw the Neonatal team start to wheel my boys out of the room. I told Trae to go with them- and he ran out the room with the Doctors to the NICU.
During this time Heather started helping me call our family and close friends to update them since I was in a state of shock and unable to relay information properly. I had nurses come in to check on me, but none had any information on my boys status or why this had happened.
Trae rejoined me after being kicked out of the NICU for their shift change and had little information on the boys. He saw them hooked up to their breathing tubes, but little had changed before he had to leave- he couldn't even see them closely since they were being worked on. We were moved to a post partum room and greeted by our family who had rushed to be by our side. The nurses were trying to tend to my post partum needs as Trae and I were trying to fill in the blanks for our family and friends on the situation. There were babies crying in rooms all around us and we hadn't even met our children, yet. We were shocked and utterly heartbroken, not knowing the future.
Our nurse alerted us that the NICU was reopening and wheeled me down to meet my boys. The NICU was scary and cold- there were different beeps going off from every baby as we passed by and finally game to two incubators with blankets over them. I met the 3 nurses tending to my children as they Congratulated me on my sons "Congratulations, Mommy!" and began introducing my children to me - and odd, unnatural feeling. They began to explain what all the cords, beeps, lines, stickers and machines were for, as Trae and I looked at our 2 perfect children who we had just named: Sawyer Jameson & Tristan Milton. They were beautiful and tiny at just 1 lb. 6 oz & 12 inches long, each. They looked just like Trae and I: Sawyer's face was round and he furrowed his brows when sucking his oxygen tube- he looked just like Trae and bit like his grandfather, Milton. Tristan kicked his arms and legs, often coming close to pulling his oxygen tube right out of his mouth. He had a long face and forehead, just like his Mommy and his gradfather, Philip. We held their hands and sung to them in utter disbelief that our son's were already here and fighting for their life.
February 1st 2013 started full of simple plans and hopes and ended with Trae and I as new parents, looking at our two tiny miracles that looked just like us. We had no idea what the following days held ahead of us, but we were so in love and committed to the care of our sweet boys that we spent every available minute by their side. And Thus began the most important 6 days of our life....
.JPG)
