1 Month

I was asked by the owners of www.twintalkblog.com to write a blog post about our experiences so far as parents of 1 month olds!  I was so grateful for the opportunity to feature our experience with others since I never dreamed I would have the opportunity to be a twin mom again and now that I am... I want to share my experience with everyone!  (Maybe it will explain why I'm so MIA, forgetful and late arriving places to all my friends! :-)  )

Also, I want the girls to be able to look back at this blog as a journal of Mom & Dad's journey into parenthood- I can only imagine how many laughs they will get reading our stories of working so hard to be good parents! Hopefully they will feel even more loved than they already are!

1 MONTH:

My husband, Trae and I knew we wanted to start a family quickly after getting married.  Getting pregnant didn’t come easy for us: I had PCOS, Endometriosis, Diminished Ovarian Reserve and needed to have surgery & take medication, just to ovulate.   After 5 failed IUI’s we chose to go through IVF and got pregnant with our only 2 viable embryos: twin boys!

Sadly, on February 1, 2013 at 23 weeks 0 days gestation our world came crashing down when I went into the doctor with gas-like pains only to realize I was in preterm labor and dilated.  I delivered my 1 lb. 6 oz/each twin boys; Sawyer Jameson & Tristan Milton 2 hours later.  The boys passed away 6 days later.

Despite being completely heartbroken, our desire to want to be parents to living children never waivered.  Being Sawyer & Tristan’s parents made us want children even more! In April I flew to Chicago and had a TransAbdominal Cerclage placed to fix my incompetent cervix, allowing me to safely carry a baby again and in July after another round of IVF, we were pregnant again.. with TWIN GIRLS this time!   We couldn’t believe our luck and were so excited…. And very scared at the same time.  After a very careful and closely monitored pregnancy, I delivered my twins, Lyla Tristan & Nixon Sawyer on February 27, 2014 at their scheduled C-Section date at 37 weeks, 2 days gestation.

As prepared as Trae and I thought we were for twin parenting, we have learned there is no way to fully prepare yourself for the: lack of sleep, expertise in multi-tasking needed to get through a day, challenges of breastfeeding and of course above it all- the abundance of love you feel for your new little ones.  

While there is certainly no “typical” day in your first month with twins (well with my twins there wasn’t), there are consistencies that you can count on: lots of diapers, probably some spit up, lots of breast milk and very little sleep for you. 

Here’s an example of what an average day looked like in my house:

Each new day starts with the first feeding in my house, around 1 AM.  I’ve always had a desire to breastfeed but have learned I don’t produce enough breast milk to satisfy both girls demanding feeding schedules, so I am on a nurse/pump/supplement with donor breast milk schedule.  I get donor breast milk from the local Breast Milk bank in town where they pasteurize their donor milk & pack it in 3 oz bottles for $4.50/oz.  I have also gotten donor milk using an online group called Human Milk 4 Human Babies (HM4HB) where Mom’s that have an oversupply go and post availability for mom’s like me, who have a need- a great service that’s available locally via Facebook groups.

1:05AM: Lyla wakes up crying in her Rock-n-Play, located in our bedroom.

I change her diaper, reswaddle her & begin to breastfeed her.

1:11 AM: Nixon wake up crying in her Rock-n-Play, also in our bedroom. Because Trae has to work in the morning, I put Lyla down in her Rock-n-Play while I change & reswaddle Nixon. 

1:13 AM: Both girls are crying, hungry and Trae has woken up.  I go into the kitchen, grab 2 bottles of breast milk from the refrigerator and begin to heat them up for the girls to eat.

1:20: Trae feeds Lyla a bottle while laying in bed while I breastfeed Nixon for 10 minutes, then feed her a bottle.

1:58: Nixon goes to sleep in her Rock-n-play

2:33: Lyla goes to sleep in her Rock-n-play

2:35 I make notes of girls feedings, diapers & sleep in my Total Baby App & go to sleep.  ( Before using Total Baby App, I made a spreadsheet to keep track of feedings, diapers, sleep and filled it in using a pencil.. but I would always lose my pencil!)

4:32 Nixon wakes up crying for her 2^nd meal/diaper change. She is fed a bottle of breast milk.

4:51 Nixon starts spitting up everywhere & crying loudly. I begin changing her out of wet swaddle & nightgown and Lyla wakes up.

5:01 AM: Trae feeds Lyla a bottle while I finish feeding/burping Nixon.

5:22: Nixon goes to sleep, I finish feeding Lyla a bottle.

6:04: Lyla goes down to sleep

6:11 I sit in my recliner in living room and pump while eating a banana. Breastfeeding makes me as hungry as I was while pregnant! I pump 5 oz, wash dirty bottles from our previous feedings, make bottles for next 3 feedings.

6:39 I go to sleep again

7:45 Trae leaves for work

8:17: Nixon wakes up for 3^rd feed/diaper change. I change her and take her to living room to breast feed while watching The Today Show. 

8:40 Nixon falls asleep while breast feeding- I swaddle her loosely with blanket and put her on her Boppy Lounger to rest next to me on couch.

9:05: Lyla wakes up for her 3^rd feed/diaper change. I breast feed her on couch in living room.

9:50: Lyla is put down asleep on her Boppy Lounger.

10:15: I pump for 2^nd time using hands free bra & eat breakfast.  In an effort to increase my supply I make an effort to drink enough water, take fenugreek consistently and eat small frequent meals.

10:51: I straighten up the house, make bed, take quick shower & start load of laundry.

11:30: I sit in recliner and close my eyes hoping to get a couple hours of rest.

12:10: Lyla wakes up for 4^th feeding/change. I feel exhausted. I change her diaper & put her in her day clothes & begin tummy time.  She gets frustrated quickly with tummy time, but likes play time on her back after a couple minutes of hard work on her tummy.

12:30: Lyla eats her 4^th bottle of breastmilk (4 oz)

12:45: Daddy is home for lunch!

1:00 Nixon wakes up. Trae changes her diaper & clothes while I warm up her bottle.

1:10 Nixon eats her 4^th bottle of breastmilk (4 oz)

1:25: Lyla goes down on her boppy lounger to sleep

1:30 Trae goes back to work (Shoot- I didn’t go to the bathroom when he was here!)

1:55 Nixon falls asleep & is put down on her boppy lounger.

2:10 I make myself an easy lunch: banana w/ peanut butter, leftover chicken & rice and eat quickly- maybe I can take a nap?! I should pump but I’m SO TIRED!!!!

2:30 I fall asleep in my recliner with girls next to me asleep on couch.

4:40 Lyla wakes up.  I pick her up- she is all wet- her diaper has leaked.  I change her diaper & clothes.

4:50 Lyla has “play time” with Mommy (we play patty cakes, and I sing songs to her like “Heads, shoulders, knees & toes” while touching her body parts. She loves music & Mommy touching her!

5:00 Nixon wakes up. I put Lyla down in her bouncy-chair while I change Nixon.

5:10 Lyla & Nixon play on playmat together.

5:15 Lyla starts crying to be fed. I leave her playing while I warm up 2 bottles

5:25 Lyla is fed her 5^th bottle (4 oz) while Nixon listens to music in her bouncy chair

5:40 Daddy is home for day!!

6:00 Trae feeds Nixon 5^th bottle (4 oz)

6:15 Lyla is falling asleep- I put her in her bouncy/vibrating chair to rest.

6:30 I pump in my recliner while talking to Trae about his day.

6:40 Nixon is put down to rest in vibrating chair.

7:00 We have guest bring us dinner from our care calendar

8:15 Guest Leaves & We eat dinner.  We bring girls into kitchen in their vibrating seats next to kitchen table.

8:30 Lyla is fussy & wants to be held. I hold her while we finish eating.

8:35 Lyla spits up all over herself & me. I decide its bath time for girls.

8:45 Lyla is given bath & re dressed in night gown

9:00 Nixon is given bath & re dressed in night gown

9:10 I heat up 2 bottles

9:25 Lyla & Nixon are swaddled and given a 4 oz bottle of breastmilk by Trae and myself.

10:15 Girls are swaddled and sleeping on their boppy loungers on the couch. Trae and I watch TV together while checking email on laptops.

11:30 I wash bottles, straighten kitchen & make bottles for nighttime feedings.

11:45 Both Lyla & Nixon wake up crying when we try to move them to their Rock-n-Plays. I tandem nurse girls while sitting in bed. Girls fall asleep quickly.

11:55 Girls are put down in their Rock-n-Plays to sleep.   We get ready & go to bed quickly- we have to get to sleep- the girls will be up again soon!

As I look at our day in hindsight, I see many places where I could have made improvements. Maybe I could have gotten an extra few minutes of sleep here, done additional tummy time, or pumped more… but I can confidently say we’re doing what any new parent does… the best we can!  

Some words of wisdom to twin parents-to-be would be:

Sleep while you can!!       

How annoying is this saying? When you’re pregnant you can’t sleep because you’re uncomfortable and then you can’t because you’re taking care of your babies when they’re here!  But it’s true now as it was true then… we try to sleep when we can, rather than get too caught up with other “to-do’s”.

Breastfeeding is hard- pump as often as possible.

 I have met VERY FEW women who produce enough milk for 2 babies from the beginning.  For most of us, it takes hard work to increase our milk supply to its highest potential. Work with a lactation consultant from the beginning and pump every 2 hours, if you can!  Also, Fenugreek is a must.

Have someone make you a care calendar.. but with rules.
 Having a friend make you a care calendar is so helpful. You wont have time to make meals or even think about meals- in fact, most things we eat are either sandwiches, snack items like granola bars and meals prepared for us by others. 

When setting up the care calendar- MAKE RULES

Rules should include what items you like friends to bring/not bring (we opted for writing nothing too spicy since I’m breast feeding)  and also write what hours you are allowing guests. You WILL have guests forget these rules from time to time and stay too long and it TOTALLY throws your schedule off.. so it’s nice to write the rules up front and help most your guests know from the get go that you can’t visit for more than an hour.

Try to get out the house: Trae and I have taken turns getting out of the house without the girls for small errands, which we believe is helpful in saving your sanity. While you’ll have to take the girls out for Dr appts and other reasons in first month- don’t try to do too much with them if you don’t have to- it’s not worth the anxiety!

Say “yes” to help: Like many others, I’m a women that likes to attack challenges myself and find it hard to accept help from others. I’ve given this up.  While our Mom’s don’t live in Austin with us, they made separate trips to help us here and there. The help was SO needed and SO appreciated. Just having an extra set of hands allows you to keep to a pumping schedule or maybe get an extra few minutes of sleep- so necessary if possible!  I’ve also had a friend come over for an hour and help with the girls while I catch a cat nap or run an errand.  Just say “yes” when someone offers the help!!

Try to stick to a schedules
While the only real “schedule” you’re sticking to is Eat, Sleep, Diapers… an actual schedule is necessary for us to understand when they ate last and when they will again so you can plan how much time you have to sleep/shower/clean while they sleep.  Also, our pediatrician would ask us questions like “how much are they eating a day” or “how many diapers did Lyla have”.. I would have had NO idea, unless I kept a schedule.  It holds you accountable and makes you feel like you have some control over a hectic day.

Take Pictures : While the only real “schedule” you’re sticking to is Eat, Sleep, Diapers… an actual schedule is necessary for us to understand when they ate last and when they will again so you can plan how much time you have to sleep/shower/clean while they sleep.  Also, our pediatrician would ask us questions like “how much are they eating a day” or “how many diapers did Lyla have”.. I would have had NO idea, unless I kept a schedule.  It holds you accountable and makes you feel like you have some control over a hectic day.
Our babies change EVERY day! While its exciting to see their cheeks plump up and their eyes to open more often, it’s a little sad to see how quickly it all happens!! Take lots of pictures- worry about printing them/editing them later- just take the picture!!

We are loving every minute of this twin parenting ride. Our girls have brought out joys in our heart that we didn’t know were there and we can’t wait to experience all the joys and challenges that continue to come with twin parenting.  As hard as it is sometimes, all I have to do is look down in my daughters eyes, smell their sweet baby smell and thank God for allowing us to experience this again.